• Ian Lobas

Resolving Conflict in Relationships—with James Creighton - EP 119

What causes conflict in relationships? For most of us, the tension comes from having very different experiences of the same event. But those alternative realities don’t have to break us apart. In fact, those contradictions can bring us closer together if we learn to express our experience in terms of feeling rather than judgement.

James Creighton is a psychologist and relationship consultant with 50-plus years of experience working with couples and conducting conflict resolution and communications skills training all over the world. He is the author of several books, most recently publishing Loving Through Your Differences, a guide to help couples find fulfillment THROUGH—rather than DESPITE—their differences.

On this episode, James joins Emerald to explain how conflict in his own marriage called him to the study of communication in relationships. He describes how each one of us interprets events in light of our own experience, resulting in contradictory realities. Listen in for insight around the danger of disowning your own experience and learn why it’s advantageous to express your feelings rather than make judgements.

What You Will Learn

How James’ own marriage called him to the study of communication

How each person interprets events in light of their own experience

What inspired James to write about conflict from alternative realities

How we generate reality as much as we experience it

How to hold conflicts around values in tension vs. opposition

The danger in disowning your own experience

Why it’s advantageous to express feelings rather than judgements

The challenge James faces in dealing with his wife’s dementia

Connect with James Creighton

James’ Website


Loving Through Your Differences: Building Strong Relationships from Separate Realities by James L. Creighton PhD

Getting Well Again: The Bestselling Classic About the Simontons’ Revolutionary Lifesaving Self-Awareness Techniques by O. Carl Simonton MD, Stephanie Matthews-Simonton and James Creighton PhD

Connect with Emerald GreenForest

Creative Age Consulting Group

Emerald’s Website

Emerald on LinkedIn

Emerald on Twitter

Emerald on Instagram


This episode is sponsored by the Creative Age Consulting Group. Men - Is it time NOW for you to make your mark? Visit to apply for an invitation-only consultation.

#JamesCreighton #Relationships #ResolvingConflict #marriage #LovingThroughYourDifferences #RelationshipConsultant #Psychologist

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